So, my fellow Shiny Toy Guns friend James Murray is at it again, spreading his gospel via MySpace blog posts. This time he shares his version of a very old story, perhaps in an attempt at flattering women. Does he succeed?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

the origin of women.

alright, so i was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and shocker, we started to talk about women. i know you’re thinking this was some strange perverted objectifying conversation; but that was actually the conversation before that.

i’m not trying to offend any christians here, but i decided a long time ago that the creation story in the Bible has a flaw or two. wait wait, hear me out before you start going all John the Baptist on me, but it just couldn’t be that way. here’s what i’m thinking happened.

so God was hanging out making this, building that, and he thought, “i’m tired of just hanging out with angels, i mean… they’re okay but i may have made them a little too two dimensional. i need someone to hang out with who gets me!” and then he thought, “hey… i’m God! i’ll just make someone.” of course the whole time thinking, “yep i still got it.” then cracks his knuckles in satisfaction.

so he grabs a little clay (or some form of amino acid based protein globule stuff in the fridge), and packs this little guy together, breathes a little life into him (oxygen, nitrogen, helium, hydrogen, just some stuff he had laying around) and voila.

little guy says, “hey dude, what’s up and who am i?”

God’s already thinking, “what’s with all the questions?”

You can read the whole article here.

Fun read, yes? Well, he certainly starts off pretty strong with some sharp wit and sassy irreverence, and I enjoyed most of what he probably considers his ode to the fairer sex, but I was really hoping James would do some actual deconstructing of the Bible as he alluded to in the beginning. I’d really love to hear his thoughts on what he considers its “flaws.” I’ve heard the “girls are circles and boys are squares” thing before. Hell, that was one of my epiphanies when I was eleven tracing Green Lantern and Wonder Woman comics. There’s truth to it. But there’s more than just squares and circles in the world, and I personally like those shapes with a bit more complexity to them, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I want to say thank you to James for the entertainment. Keep writing those crazy blog posts, man!