Oh Storm, and you wonder why people call you stuck up! Seriously, I laughed so hard when I read those two word balloons for the first time! The tone is a bit pompous, and it’s also a pun which makes her speech especially ludicrous. But I happen to find it hilarious. Does Storm think that some people CAN fly in the fact of facts? Who does that? Thor? The Green Goblin (Well, he probably *glides* in the face of facts instead)? Dark Phoenix definitely flew in the face of facts. I’m pretty sure the Human Torch might as well. Anyway, here’s a little gem of a comic featuring Spider-Man, Storm & Power Man (before he became just Luke Cage). It’s actually titled Spider-Man, Storm and Power Man. Catchy, huh? It’s copyrighted 1982 and no one is credited with the art or words. The comic was a freebie given away by the American Cancer Society.
Oh noes! It’s Smokecreen! And he’s menacing young boys in athletic wear! Things look serious! I am so glad it requires three Marvel Super-Heroes to take this guy down! You can make fun of his costume on your own, it’s just too easy a target for me to fully engage. Besides, I’m more interested in talking about how Storm is portrayed in this comic. Let’s continue on with a Marvel tried and true staple of storytelling–The Origin!
So, now we’re clear on the facts, right? No one flying in the face of them yet? Peter was bit, Storm was born and Luke thought it would be a good idea to take part in “a secret experiment.” I’m sure that origin will dovetail nicely with the “don’t give in to peer pressure” message coming up in the following pages. Also, Storm’s birth name is not mentioned, but the boys get their secret identity mentioned. What gives?
Storm proves that she can hang with the boys by knocking Luke upside a tree trunk with a gust of wind. Wow, that’s a great first impression, Storm. But it seems to work as she’s allowed to watch the criminals for the boys. She trails some hoodlums and this leads her to a warehouse.
Storm hears a voice behind her, but in the fourth panel is enveloped by smoke and hit on the head before she can summon a breeze. Really? Uber-lame. It’s not even a fight. It’s just ridiculous.
Storm is left alone and unguarded in the room where she was knocked out. She takes out the lock on the door with her lightning. Why not use her lock-picking skills instead? And that third panel kills me. She looks like a cardboard cutout of herself.
So the whole time that Storm has been unconscious, Spidey and Luke say that they’ve been running around the city in circles for her. But they actually had a team up without her, rescued the kids from some crime boss and then hung out with the kids at the park. That’s what happens when the boys don’t want you in their clubhouse. But Storm shows up again, so all three heroes run off to stop the gambling den. See you later kids! This won’t take a minute! It’s the problem we’re solving, not the symptom! Just like smoking!
What’s really “washed up” is this dialogue. Luke and Storm clean up the flunkies with a pool table and rain while Spidey gets to take bad guy with his webbing. You saw all of this coming, didn’t you? I’m so glad Storm appeared in this comic to get knocked out and make it rain!
Whoa! I get the “don’t smoke” message, but “don’t stay up late”? No way I can support that. What are Bret’s “other bad habits”? I shudder to think. !
And this is the priceless page that made me scan these pages in the first place. Three super-heroes equals three times the puns! And what is Luke carrying? An ancient block of tofu?